Protecting Irma

My mother was the best person I have ever had the privilege of knowing. She was the epitome of love, what she suffered during her life was not deserved. I think about her every day. I miss her terribly and wish that I could have done more for her.

She was love and kindness and pure, she loved unconditionally and when someone hurt her she was wounded deeply. I loved my mother so much and it hurts to know that her own flesh and blood hurt her for their own selfish needs. I will never forgive or forget what my brother Sam did to her.

I am not perfect and have my flaws but in a million years I would never had done to her what Sam did to her. My true brother Miguel thinks that at some point I should forgive him but after all of these years I cannot see that happening.

I wish she was still here and part of the reason she is not is attributed to my brother Sam, at the end of this you will see why and not question this statement.

During the visit (where Sam had tried to withdraw money from the Free ATM) not only had we initiated the Power of Attorney we also wanted to have my mother assessed again for dementia. I met with her doctor at Kaiser right before her appointment to talk to him regarding her mental status. I asked if he would re-assess her as we had growing concerns regarding her memory.

In our first visit the doctor told us that she was just suffering from age related memory loss but the memory loss was really starting to concern us. It seemed to be getting worse and we felt that the doctor had not done a proper assessment. The doctor was perturbed that we were asking him to do the assessment, the doctor did a more complete assessment and decided to refer her to a neurologist.

Miguel and I continued to look for her original will and trust as well as trying to find where all the money went. We were waiting on the documents from her bank to start forensically searching to find out what had happened.

My mothers finances started to normalize since we had taken over paying her bills for her and managing her bank accounts. Without the financial abuse by my brother Sam she actually had money in her account and continued to build a buffer as her expenses where a lot less than what she got from Social Security and her pension.

We were trying to get my mother to start using some of the services offered to the elderly such as ride sharing services that only cost $5 as we did not want her driving and other services that would do well visits to her. She was a very independent woman and did not want to use some of the services offered. It is tough to get someone at the age of 85 to start doing something different from what was normal to them previously.

The doctors visit to the neurologist was scheduled and we were trying to get her to use the ride service but she did not want to do that and somehow Christina (for once) volunteered to take her. We were not comfortable with her taking her but pretty much had no say in the matter. The day of the appointment I spoke with the doctor and asked that she see Irma alone without Christina and informed her of the financial abuse that had taken place. The doctor agreed and after the appointment she called me to say that Irma was in the beginning stages of dementia and was shocked that she was still driving.

Unfortunately this confirmed our fears and now it became imperative that we get a conservatorship in place.

Protect the Elderly from Financial Exploitation

https://www.aba.com/advocacy/community-programs/consumer-resources/protect-your-money/elderly-financial-abuse

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